For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
