She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
