Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
