As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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