you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
