The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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