i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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