I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I pour the whiskey from now on
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
