Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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