I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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