I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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