Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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