Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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