I want to walk on stilts...naked
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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