Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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