I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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