I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
