Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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