uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
FUCK WHALES
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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