I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
