they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Watching her eat just hurts me
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
