i already hear my dad disowning me
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
