fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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