I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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