Farmville is her only friend.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
