well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
