Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
