this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
