The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
