we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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