Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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