wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I want to be your penis for a week.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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