I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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