Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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