he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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