He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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