I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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