No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
