you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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