You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
