so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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