it was like eating out sand paper
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
