3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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