so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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