she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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