There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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