yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
