Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
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This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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