think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
