I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
operation have a gay friend backfired
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
