We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
