You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
