So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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