I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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