she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
