He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
i believe in u and ur pee
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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