I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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