Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
false alarm, still single
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