I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
