it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
