Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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