i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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