Taylor Swift is so right about you.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
