hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
