its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
