you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Four minutes until I can fart!
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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